A newer song to add to the list that (while I really like it) has some pretty ridiculous lyrics is Josh Turner’s “Eye Candy” from his latest album

Here’s an example:

“When the good Lord made that little looker,
He must have used a whole lot of sugar.
Maybe that’s the reason that I crave her
So much flavor all the time.”

I stress that I really like the song, but excuse the pun, it really is ear candy. It’s ridiculous, but fun :D

I’ll probably get my head handed to me on a plate, but I don’t think it’s anywhere near as bad as everyone thinks it is. Either that, or there are a lot of artists out there with bad taste to want to cover it over the years (LOL): Richard Harris (first), Glen Campbell, Waylon Jennings, Donna Summer, The Four Tops, and (as the old saying goes) many, many more…

“Someone left the cake out..in the rain.
I don’t think that I can take it..
Cause it took so long to bake it!
And I’ll never have that recipe AGGAAAIIN
OHH NOOO!”

Song: Central Park. Not country but the lyrics are bad enough to be posted anywhere in a ‘bad lyrics’ board.

Serious, listen to that song lol.

“If I could grant you one wish / I wish you could see the way you kiss” from “The Way You Love Me” by Faith Hill. So she’ll grant him a wish, but she gets to pick it? That makes no sense. (Not to mention all the “oohs” thrown in for filler in the same song. (“Oooh, I love watching you , baby / When you’re driving me, ooh, crazy / Ooh, I love the way you, love the way you love me”.)

*”Red Umbrella” (or as I spell it, reDUMBrella) by the same. Already mentioned.

*”But now I need her so much more” from “Streets of Heaven” by Sherrié Austin. This whole song is bad IMO, but this line just clinches it. To me it just comes off like she’s trying to tell God that He’s mistaken.

*”Friday night and the moon is high, I’m wide awake just watching you sleep / And I promise you you’re gonna have more than just the things that you need” from “Better Life” from Keith Urban. The rest of the song is fine, but that line just sounds so clumsy that it throws the whole song off.

*”Twenty years have came and went” from “Angry All the Time” by Tim McGraw. Normally, bad grammar doesn’t bug me (see “Love Don’t Live Here”), but when the grammatically correct equivalent (“have come and gone”) would have worked just as well, and would have flowed better.

*”Dancin’ cowboys, singin’ horses / Gypsy music, ringin’ voices / Dancin’ cowboys, singin’ horses / Gypsy music, songs about love” from “Dancin’ Cowboys” by the Bellamy Brothers. Okay, singing horses?! And how do gypsies relate to cowboys anyway?

*”The truth about a mirror is that a damn old mirror…” from “Troubadour” by George Strait. Not only did they reuse the same word instead of coming up with a rhyme, but this whole 2nd verse contradicts the whole song. So he still feels 25 most of the time, but the mirror is no reflection of his youth?

*All of “Stand” by Rascal Flatts. The whole song just moves from simile to simile without settling on one. Some of the metaphors are even mixed (“when push comes to shove, you taste what you’re made of”).

*All of “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”. Sure, it’s not technically a country song, but it shows how bad a songwriter Diane Warren is. She uses the phrase “in this moment” about 149 times.

*”A carrot top who can barely walk with a sippy cup of milk” from “My Front Porch Looking In” by Lonestar. Only makes the song even sappier.

I’m sure I’ll think of more.

Guacamole (Texas Tornados)

Verse 1
I met her at the mercado, she’s buyin’ avacados
And man, she really turned me on.
She reached for my pepper, I grabbed her tomatoes
I knew, it wouldn’t be very long.

Verse 2
She walked to the mesa, I got my cerveza,
I picked up the onions and their bones.
And the way she looked at me, man I could clearly see,
That it, wouldn’t be very long.

Chorus
Guacamole, GUACAMOLE, Guacamole, GUACAMOLE
We’d be makin’ guacamole all night long.
Guacamole, GUACAMOLE, Guacamole, GUACAMOLE
We’d be makin’ guacamole all night long.

Anyways, I love Sugarland, but their new song…”All I wanna do ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh, ooh, ooh is love you” and “gimme a kiss, from that Elvis lip, you don’t wanna miss this” then the “please do not, do please do not distuurr-bb-rbb”. Some one actually wrote “All I wanna do ooh, ooh, ooh ooh” on paper, pretty disturbing.

I agree with Simpson’s “Come on over”, especially the ice cube line.

Also, just wanted to throw Chris Cagle’s “What Kinda Gone” into the ring:

Well there’s gone for good and there’s good and gone
Then there’s gone with the long before it
I wish she’d been just a little more clear
Theres gone for the day and gone for the night
Gone for the rest of your dog-gone life
Is it whiskey night or just a couple of beers
I mean what kinda gone are we talkin’ ’bout here

To me this is just a silly way to stretch out a very thin idea across a chorus. I get the point but exclusively pondering “what kind of gone” it is is so manufactured I just switch the station when I hear it, despite the catchy melody.