CU10: What a Turkey! The Worst Singles of the Last Ten Years

Country Universe has reviewed more than a thousand singles during its ten year run.  Some of them have been real turkeys.  Here are some of the worst, with highlights and links to the original reviews.

Big and Rich Party-Like-Cowboyz

“Party Like Cowboyz”

Big & Rich

Reviewed on December 12, 2012

“Yes, from the opening cry of ‘Come on, cowboys and cowgirls, it’s time to par-tay!’ to the stupid ‘Z’ slapped onto the end of the title, this is just bad, bad, bad.” – Ben Foster

Craig Morgan Chicken

“Still a Little Chicken Left on that Bone”

Craig Morgan

Reviewed on October 3, 2010

“This is why I don’t even bother defending country music anymore.” – Kevin John Coyne

Due West Bible & the Belt

“The Bible and the Belt”

Due West

Reviewed on October 29, 2010

“All I can say is that anybody who accepts this song’s message as valid should not be allowed near children.” – Kevin John Coyne

Alan Jackson I Still Like Bologna

“I Still Like Bologna”

Alan Jackson

Reviewed on July 27, 2009

“I really like – honky-tonk music and silly song titles – and make them seem duller than a bad Learn-To-Type program.” – Dan Milliken

Lady Antbellum American Honey

“American Honey”

Lady Antebellum

Reviewed on January 13, 2010

“When did being able to sing reasonably well cease to be a requirement for country music?” – Kevin John Coyne

Justin Moore Small Twon USA

“Small Town USA”

Justin Moore

Reviewed on February 20, 2009

” It was clearly written solely to appeal to a demographic of people who also live in small towns and can relate to surface-level ideas like ‘everybody knows me and I know them’ and ‘give me a Sunday morning that’s full of grace’ (or in Moore’s case, ‘grA-a-A-a-A-ace’) without any further development of those ideas.” – Dan Milliken

Brad Paisley Online

“Online”

Brad Paisley

Reviewed on June 28, 2007

“What Brad’s doing here isn’t comedy.  It’s sport.” – Kevin John Coyne

Rascal Flatts Bob That Head

“Bob That Head”

Rascal Flatts

Reviewed on June 18, 2008

“Just when I think this group has gone as low as they possibly could, their resilience continues to baffle me.” – Leeann Ward

Tim McGraw Truck Yeah

“Truck Yeah!”

Tim McGraw

Reviewed on July 3, 2012

“So ‘truck’ rhymes with… you know.  Congratulations to the songwriters on having come to such a grand realization, but that still begs the question of why the world needs to hear a three and a half-minute song built around it.” – Ben Foster

14 Comments

  1. Good stuff. I would add Kevin’s recent review of FGL’s “Sun Daze” to this list.

    I still wonder if releasing “I Still Like Bologna” didn’t halfway kill Alan Jackson’s career, commercially. He was riding high before that, but it bombed and he never had a real hit again. Of course, radio probably would’ve tossed him overboard soon enough anyway for the sin of being middle-aged and traditional, but releasing that ridiculous song maybe gave them an excuse to start ignoring him…

  2. Quote by Andrew:

    Good stuff. I would add Kevin’s recent review of FGL’s “Sun Daze” to this list.

    I think anything by Florida Georgia Line would qualify for this list. As a matter of fact, anything done by anybody who engages in this kind of backslapping bro-country junk deserves whatever censure comes their way (IMHO).

  3. Nice list, especially ‘Truck Yeah’, which was pitiful and shameful. It is a shame though that you couldn’t make room for at least one of Taylor Switft’s ‘making my lyrics up as I go’ sounding songs.

  4. It seems like this list missed the entire bro-country movement. There is no way that “Small Town USA” and “American Honey” are worse than any bro-country song. In fact, the beauty of the music in “Small Town USA” makes it very enjoyable for me to listen to.

  5. I would add swing or brown chicken brown cow to this list as well.
    I agree, I don’t think american honey completely deserves to be on this list

  6. Quote by Leeann Ward:

    Putting all of the “bro” country singles on this little list would just be repetitive at this point.

    Very true.

    Now that I think about it, having Big & Rich up makes it possible that they are the true progenitors of the bro-country movement, eight to ten years before this disreputable genre even had a name.

  7. Yuck. Some godawful songs on this list for sure.

    Personally, I’d replace the Moore, Lady A and Paisley songs for the likes of “Lookin’ For That Girl”, “Donkey”, “Kick It In the Sticks”, etc.

  8. I wonder if “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” would also fit into this segment’s 10-year criteria. That was an atrocity in and of itself (IMHO).

  9. Part of the fun of this list was going back and finding songs I’d forgotten we’d reviewed. I think that the bro-country stuff is so current that it would be redundant to include it on a retro piece.

    I agree about the Miley Cyrus review of Dan’s being a classic. I didn’t include it because I couldn’t figure out how to pull a quote from it!

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