Single Review: Cole Swindell featuring Dierks Bentley, “Flatliner”

“Flatliner”
Cole Swindell featuring Dierks Bentley

Written by Jaron Boyer, Matt Bronleewe, and Cole Swindell

This is what Luke Bryan has wrought upon country music.

Truth be told, I’d probably even like this a little bit if it was Bryan singing it. See, Bryan isn’t dumbing himself down. His aw-schucks shtick is who he is, and I often find it endearing.

But judging by his work overall, Cole Swindell is dumbing himself down, to say nothing of Dierks Bentley, who recorded Up On the Ridge and Riser.

It’s not offensively dumb or anything like that. It’s just redundant and its existence is entirely unnecessary.

Grade: C-

11 Comments

  1. Ugh, Cole Swindell. I can actually tolerate Luke Bryan, who, despite the shit he churns out, he is actually talented and has charisma. Cole is awkward as hell, is absolutely talentless, and is the world’s worst dancer ever. He has never released a song I like. I give this song an F. And hey, do y’all remember when Dierks used to be pretty good?

  2. Looks like the Bro-Country Fraternity has inducted its latest member.

    “Congrats – You’re officially one of us now, Cole. Remember to always pretend you’re still 21 years old so the teenage girls will still love you. Always mention ‘beer’ or ‘a cold one’ so the teenage boys will still want to hang out with you.”

  3. The melody in this is great and honestly this song brings a smile to my face! It’s mindless fun but it’s so Damn catchy!

    Grade B+

    I think from a technical perspective Cole Swindell is very talented and I definitely understand why he’s been so successful.

  4. And hey, do y’all remember when Dierks used to be pretty good?

    Yup, back when he was singing duets with the likes of Cody Canada. I really hate to say it, but I think Dierks peaked with his sophomore album. Such a shame, too, because he got off to such a promising start.

  5. You know, for as much as we’re all talking about how this is a Luke-Bryan-wannabe song, the song that I think this thing really wants to be is “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.”

    Now, say what you will about that song, I’ve always liked “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” It’s shamelessly goofy, and Trace Adkins went for broke on the delivery. It’s a joke song that I actually find funny.

    “Flatliner”? It’s too calculated to be goofy, and Cole Swindell and Dierks Bentley sound far too flat and limp to get anywhere near the level of personality it takes to sell a song like this. And frankly, I’m surprised that Dierks doesn’t step up with more gusto. He’s done funny songs before (see “Drunk on a Plane”) but he sounds so checked out here.

    I’d give this a D+. It’s amusing that they tried to go for a song like this and just failed so badly (that bit of “dialogue” in the middle is just painful), but it’s still a fail. They’re both better than this.

  6. When I first heard Honky Tonk Badonkadonk I thought it was the worst country song ever written.

    Compared to the crap now served up on country radio it really doesn;t seem that bad.

  7. Not a Badonkadonk fan. I’d rather listen to Neil Diamond’s “You’re So Sweet, Horseflies Keep Hangin’ ‘Round Your Face …” or that great country classic from John Denver “You Dun Stomped on My Heart” (written by Mason Williams) The chorus continues “and you mashed that sucker flat, you just sorta, stomped on my aorta”.

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