Saturday, October 31st, 2009
The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 4: #20-#11
The Lost Trailers, “Holler Back”
If your response to hearing “Holler Back” is to brag that you’ve got a holler back in the woods, I suggest that you and your music stay there.
Trailer Choir, “Rockin’ the Beer Gut”
I appreciate the sincerity, but it can’t overcome the fact that he’s rockin’ the Autotune and singin’ the most ridiculous lyric of the year.
Bucky Covington, “A Different World”
Bucky and I are roughly the same age, and I know for a fact that we grew up with seat belts, video games, and remote controls. What’s next, Taylor Swift singing about growing up without the internet?
Toby Keith featuring Krystal, “Mockingbird”
As endearing as it is that Toby Keith wanted to help his daughter on to country radio, I have to ask the question: Why is one of country music’s greatest all-time vocalists aping James Taylor’s far less capable vocal stylings? Did we really need to hear Toby Keith sing, “Yes indeed-o?”
Billy Ray Cyrus featuring Miley Cyrus, “Ready, Set, Don’t Go”
Then again, trying to help your daughter is a heck of a lot more sympathetic than riding on her coattails. I’d give this a pass if it was the original recording, but slapping Miley on to the track when the solo version is struggling at radio is just sad.
Blake Shelton, “The Baby”
Or as he sings it, “The Bay-ay-bee.”
Neal McCoy, “Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On”
Of all of the nineties stars to make a one-off comeback, did it have to be the man who brought us “The Shake?”
Gretchen Wilson, “All Jacked Up”
In which Wilson sees both her front tooth and her pickup truck damaged, and pundits are left debating which one best symbolizes what she’s done to her career.
Brad Paisley, “Ticks”
A warning to all the ladies: If a stranger starts talking to you like this at a bar, please don’t follow him into the woods. It won’t end well.
Trace Adkins, “Swing”
The strikes are called after you swing, not before them. Stupid songwriters.