Kevin John Coyne

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 5: #10-#1

November 1, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 79

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 5: #10-#1

#10
Alan Jackson, “www.memory”

Wasn’t there anyone who could tell him that this wasn’t going to work? It’s a terribly awkward effort to force a classic concept into a current framework. (See also: Lorrie Morgan, “1-800-Used-To-Be”)

#9
Reba McEntire & Kelly Clarkson, “Because of You”

This could’ve been great. Two great singers, one great song. The fatal flaw is that it just doesn’t work as a duet. The lyrics don’t make sense when it’s two people singing to each other.

#8
Lonestar, “Mr. Mom”

Mr.Mom was the first movie that I saw in theaters. Back then, the concept of a stay-at-home Dad was novel. By the time this song rolled around, it was hard to even take the conceit of the song seriously. This guy’s not struggling because he’s a guy. He’s struggling because he’s a bumbling fool.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 4: #20-#11

October 31, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 60

homer_the_scream Time’s running short. If your personal least favorite wasn’t in Part 1, Part 2 , or Part 3, perhaps it will turn up now.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 4: #20-#11

#20
The Lost Trailers, “Holler Back”

If your response to hearing “Holler Back” is to brag that you’ve got a holler back in the woods, I suggest that you and your music stay there.

#19
Trailer Choir, “Rockin’ the Beer Gut”

I appreciate the sincerity, but it can’t overcome the fact that he’s rockin’ the Autotune and singin’ the most ridiculous lyric of the year.

#18
Bucky Covington, “A Different World”

Bucky and I are roughly the same age, and I know for a fact that we grew up with seat belts, video games, and remote controls. What’s next, Taylor Swift singing about growing up without the internet?

Bargain Hunter: Newest albums from Tim McGraw and George Strait

October 30, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 2

The latest albums from Tim McGraw and George Strait are available for $5.00 each at Amazon’s MP3 store.

I was on the fence about the McGraw, but picked it up at this price. George Strait, of course, has long since been added to my collection. Got everything that guy’s done!

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 3: #30-#21

October 30, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 30

It Stinks! After Part 1 and Part 2 , we’re wading further into the sea of mediocrity.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 3: #30-#21

#30
Terri Clark, “Dirty Girl”

Double entendres are a lot more enjoyable when the naughty meaning is the real one.

#29
Jamey Johnson, “The Dollar”

Real kids don’t talk like this.

#28
Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood, “Love Will Always Win”

This treacly ballad is the nadir of Trisha’s career and one “It’s Midnight Cinderella” away from being Garth’s as well.

Review: Lee Ann Womack, “There is a God”

October 25, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 52

There is a God” is a thought that often crosses my mind when Lee Ann Womack is singing, so it’s somewhat appropriate that she’s released a song with that title. Of course, Womack’s more effective when she’s singing about Saturday night than she is about Sunday morning, unless she’s hating herself in the morning after that Saturday night.

I actually believe that the aesthetic explanation for the existence of God is a powerful one, which is the case that Womack makes here. She’s just not making the case very well. That’s mostly because of the lyrics, but her tepid performance certainly does a good part of the damage, too. If ever there was a time to sing with some conviction, this was it.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 2: #40-#31

October 24, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 38

thumbs down The banality continues. Read Part 1 here.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 2: #40-#31

#40
Kenny Chesney & George Strait, “Shiftwork”

A stab at the working class blues still ends up on a tropical island by the third verse.

#39
Anita Cochran featuring The Voice of Conway Twitty, “(I Wanna Hear) A Cheatin’ Song”

In which a duet is formed from beyond the grave by chopping up bits and pieces of old Conway Twitty songs and reassembling them word by word.

#38
Billy Dean, “Let Them Be Little”

Thirty seconds in and you’ll be headed to your dentist for a cavity filling.

#37
Montgomery Gentry, “She Couldn’t Change Me”

Sorry boys, but “some hip-hop mess” would be a great improvement over this hillbilly trainwreck.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 1: #50-#41

October 21, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 61

Worst Singles As we begin our look back on the last ten years in country music, we’re starting with the bottom. Over the next few days, you’ll be reading about the worst that country music sent to radio in the 2000s, much of which they actually played.

But first, a disclaimer. This list makes no attempt to objectively list the worst singles of the decade. If that’s what I was going for here, I’d just post a collection of homemade tracks and twenty Rascal Flatts singles and call it a day. Instead, this list takes a broader view, including songs from accomplished artists that were just disappointing, copycat and fad-chasing numbers, and just plain old mediocre efforts.

This isn’t the type of thing we normally do, but I’m sure I’ll hear what I’m right about, what I’m wrong about, and what I forgot to include in the first place! Look for the best-of lists to follow as the year starts winding down.

The Worst Singles of the Decade, Part 1: #50-#41

#50
Mark Wills, “19 Somethin'”

Pick a decade, man.

#49
Toby Keith, “Who’s Your Daddy?”

The biggest casualty of Keith’s ascent to superstardom was his quality check. When your label lets you put out anything and radio goes ahead and plays it, the blame must be spread around for such silliness as this.

#48
Halfway to Hazard, “Daisy”

In which a girl’s sole reasons for existing are to make a boy a man, lead him to God, and give him a child. After that, you can just kill her off in the final verse. This is why people hate country music.

Bargain Hunter: The Rodney Crowell Collection

October 20, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 3

RC Collection When Rodney Crowell had his gold-selling commercial breakthrough with the album Diamonds & Dirt, his previous label was quick to capitalize on his success. Usually, pre-hit cash-in CDs are little more than a curiosity, but Crowell’s is the exception.

There is a smorgasbord of great material here, including early versions of songs that Crowell would see other artists have success with the same songs.

That Ain’t Country!

October 19, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 31

Empire State Building I’m sure many of our readers listen to genres beyond country music. Heck, you can listen to genres other than country music on country radio itself these days.

Tonight, we’re asking you to recommend a track that you love which is not even close to being country music. Bonus points for those of you who get as far away from country music as possible.

I’m recommending a song that’s been in heavy rotation for me since a friend of mine tipped me off about it: “Empire State of Mind”, by Jay- Z and Alicia Keys.

Songs about New York City are nothing new, but rarely are they done this well. This isn’t a song about somebody who moves to New York to find themselves. It’s a song about the visceral experience of someone “New York City born and raised”, as Neil Diamond once sang in “I Am…I Said.”

Women of the Decade

October 18, 2009 Kevin John Coyne 16

reba-mcentire Country Universe contributor and reader Cory DeStein flagged this rundown from Billboard regarding women on the charts this decade:

PERFECT 10: On Country Songs, Carrie Underwood ropes her 10th top 10, as “Cowboy Casanova” climbs 11-8. With the advance, Underwood now stands alone in first-place for most top 10s on the chart among solo women this decade.

Here are the solo females with the most top 10s on Country Songs since 2000:

10, Carrie Underwood
9, Faith Hill
9, Martina McBride
8, Taylor Swift
7, Sara Evans
7, Reba McEntire
6, Jo Dee Messina
5, LeAnn Rimes
5, Gretchen Wilson
4, Shania Twain

Notably, the artist who led the category among women last decade did so with almost three times as many top 10s. Reba McEntire ranked first among solo women in the ’90s with 27 top 10s on Country Songs. Trisha Yearwood placed second with 18 between 1990 and 1999, and Faith Hill, Patty Loveless and Tanya Tucker each posted 14 in that span.

The decline in fortune for women at radio this decade is even more pronounced when you compare the above top ten to the previous decade: